Since I have now linked my website to my personal and photographic blog, I realized I need to journal something new. My last blog post was after my four year anniversary (insert sheepish giggle), and we recently celebrated our SIX year anniversary (all praise and glory to God who gave Himself, who gave us love, who gave us everything). What an adventure it truly has been! We've been blessed with two beautiful children. We have a home. My husband still teaches at the best middle school in the state of Wisconsin. And, here I am, venturing out to the high sea starting my own photography business. Bear in mind, although I was raised to hold my own while fishing, I've always been terrified of the ocean. What on earth is a small town girl like myself doing trying to start up a flourishing business? Right. Well, the answer is a myriad of choices, a kaleidoscope of steps, all leading towards the yet realized goal. I believe I can say, however, that my dream has become a reality in one sense. Not because I've accomplished anything noteworthy in the photography world. But, because I simply have made some people (in the business they're referred to as clients; often they're my friends) really cherish their lives through photographic art in a way they never had before. Now that is a dream come true! Of course I am no Peter, the Rock; I am Joy St. John. I do believe that I am stepping out "on the water" ever seeking the Lord's guidance. I am not one to sit and applaud my own faith. I am just ever grateful that in this journey of becoming a photographer that I have the One who is Faithful to help me step out of the boat.
I was sitting at MOPS last year (our local Mothers of Preschoolers group for Christian moms), and I was feeding my son a homemade recipe of black beans, quinoa, and bananas. One of the mothers leaned over and asked what I was feeding him, since that combination often gets some strange looks and curled up noses. Once I told her what the recipe was, she sat back with raised eyebrows and said in a guilt-ridden tone, "I could never do that!" In an almost guttural reaction I wanted to scream (a midst the moms chattering), ME EITHER! Really, I never think of myself as one of "those moms" that can do everything, make everything, be everything. I can't garden. I can't seem to grow any plants, other than the "love fern" that we were actually given during the middle of our wedding sermon by our Pastor. I don't run. I don't scrapbook anymore. I can't draw a basic person or animal shape to save my life! I've never really felt I could master baking the perfect cookie. Being a part of MOPS sometimes exacerbates the inadequacies that I feel as a mom because of all the amazing mothers that surround me.
I write this because I think the whole situation parallels my feelings about starting J. Artistry Photography, perfectly. It's so utterly perfect. I've always been an idealist, a dreamer. I remember buying my first lock and key journal/diary when I was in 1st grade, at the Corn Palace, while our family was vacationing to South Dakota. I was a born writer! I've filled countless journals since that time, often writing 3 lines to each college ruled one. I can't deny I'm a writer in my heart of hearts. I've always loved words, poetry, great quotes, wonderfully long conversations, philosophy, Scrabble. I believe a love of the arts fuels dreams like none other. Thinking about beautiful, lofty ideals and ideas certainly inspires creativity.
I was absolutely, positively certain I would grow up and teach secondary English as an English Education major. That is the path my life originally took. When God changed my heart, He changed my dreams. I just didn't know the outcome at the time. I was responding to the whisper of our gracious Father, through the Holy Spirit. God was beckoning me to become a family woman, a wife, a stay at home mother...and ultimately, a photographer. I've read countless blogs about SAHM's becoming photographers. It really is a natural fit. I was blessed with the time at home to take a lot more candid photos of my children at play. And, after I was gifted with my first Lumix point and shoot camera, I was hooked forever. I was able to channel all the passion that I once had for teaching English and have that course through my veins as I dreamed about gorgeous photos, giving new life with a new paradigm shift.
It was spring time. I remember the first crocuses coming up through the cold, damp ground. Their color is a fresh lease on life after a long winter. I ran outside with my Lumix. I had to capture these precious flowers after their feat of bursting through the battered soil. Purple, yellow, green. It's amazingly beautiful after a virtually colorless winter in the Midwest. I could not believe the clarity staring back at me from the little square camera, captured in the viewfinder.
From then on I proceeded to take endless photos of my first born daughter. My husband would chuckle telling people that I probably had every single day day of her entire life for the first two years recorded, literally. Thousands of pictures. I became dissatisfied taking photos at the typical angle. I would alter the color, crop the photo, plan outfits and sessions. I would dream about perfect photo shoots but still not as a photographer, only as a mother. I only wanted the beauty that I saw deep within my daughter to be revealed on camera. Days, maybe hours into motherhood, I realized how quickly the time elapsed. She seemed to grow right before our very eyes. I wanted to capture EVERYTHING. And, I tried!
The decision to actually begin J. Artistry Photography was germinated after the birth of my son, our second child. A few weeks after he was born, I set up a basic "portrait studio" on my queen size bed with a simple sheet as a backdrop and my camera in hand. I used little props like Air Jordan shoes, a jersey, wooden blocks. I was so very happy with what I was able to create with just the small space, time, and budget. I do so cherish those pictures, to this day. Of course I love candids. But, the time taken to really customize his photos is what takes me back to those images time and again.
I'd be lying if I didn't admit here that the hit to the teaching profession in Wisconsin didn't motivate some of the brainstorming about other ways to make money for our family. I had considered photography. The previous fall I had asked a family that I knew if they would meet at the park and allow me to photograph them for practice. For me, it was the real concrete beginning of the dream. I loved seeing everyone "together." I loved and still love, the interaction, the sacred time carved out for family members to be together and inaudibly say "this time matters." Family matters. I was overjoyed with what I was able to produce as a final product and certainly not because it was my finest work ever. It was the way that the photos cemented a sacred time in life and that eclipsed my lack of technical merit.
I prayed A LOT. I envisioned names and where the business would grow. Over the Christmas season of 2011, I started talking to my family members about my idea to start a "part time" photography business. And, they became accustomed to me having a camera out almost all of the time. At one point, just sitting down at the computer and looking up photog information, the name literally came out of nowhere--J. Artistry Photography. Of course, photos as art. And, yes, the J for many important people in my life, namely Jesus. Then, a quick Google search confirmed that the name was totally original and that I could trademark the .com address.
Throughout the winter I acquired the professional gear that I would need to get started. And, I spent the next days, weeks, and months taking all the baby steps necessary to build a legitimate, professional business and offer the service of family and child lifestyle portraiture.
Everything in the business that I have experienced thus far, the ups and downs and highs and lows, brings me back to that conversation with that MOPS mother years ago. Many times I want to shout out, "Me either!!!" I'm not one of those people that just starts a business offering a professional service. I know many people who spend much of their adult life thinking about their dreams. At this point, as a complete amateur to the photography world, I would offer this advice: that a person plans the course of their life but the Lord determines their steps. Take even a a half step toward your goal and dream every single day and see how it will catch fire. The Lord can do infinitely more than you can ask or imagine.
I cannot imagine not moving forward with this dream; it has already become a reality. I have absolutely loved the process. Even at the hardest times, when I am starring at my computer screen at 2 am in the morning and comparing my work to "true" professionals or trying to master a new technique, I am blessed. I remind myself daily that at the end of the day, I have the ability to bless my clientele with products and services that will bring them lasting joy. It is something tangible to remind them that they lived a blessed life with their loved ones, that this time mattered, so it was worth the price to capture it professionally.
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